Are You In LOVE Or Are You In CONVENIENCE?

Good Morning Everyone! I'm ready to FIGHT everyone in my office this morning! Everyone is SICK, including me! I tweeted yesterday that these people need to quit all this coughing in my office and WHAT HAPPENED, I was up all night sniffling, aching, and shaking with a cold! NOT HAPPY RIGHT NOW! I'll make it, ya'll pray for me as thankfully we are on break here at my College and I'll just be taking care of as little work as possible ALL DAY LONG:-)

So for a while now, I have been tweeting and talking about SPOILING YOUR MATE! Even wrote a little bit about it in a Blog last week. Well, what do you mean by SPOILING Professor JT? I'M GLAD THAT YOU ASKED! It's doing those wonderful little things that makes your partner feel amazing special, like they are the only person in the World to you that you love just that much! Cooking Dinner, Feet, Back, and Belly Rubs (Yes, I said BELLY) Sexual Attention, Cleaning up for them, doing little things like special gifts, flowers, and many hugs and smiles. Some people may be reading this and be saying "SHOOT, SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!" But the thing is, not everyone does this! It's not because the don't love who they are with, maybe they never were taught how to Spoil their mate. Maybe someone is saying "Well, it doesn't take all of that to be in love!" Well, what I have learned over the years is that "You Spoil Them...You Keep Them!" Now, this theory may not have always worked, but that just means someone didn't appreciate it. That doesn't mean that you ever STOP from spoiling who you are with, that just means you make sure that you wait before turning it up & spoiling people too fast who down the line just won't appreciate what you do for them.

What this all comes down to is that who you spoil has to really think about "Who else would do these things for me?" You have to ask yourself too "Who would allow me to BE ME and still love me all the same?" Finally, "If I lost this person, would I miss being spoiled like this, because I know they will be spoiling someone else!" You have to appreciate who you have, when you have them! How many people can you burp, fart, and let your belly and toes out around and they still cater too you and want to be around you? Or what about them seeing you walk around unshaven EVERYWHERE and they still hug and love on you? NOW THAT IS LOVE, RIGHT? Well, it might be to some, but to others, it may be just CONVENIENT to be around those people? You know that you can walk around looking a mess around some people because you have done it for so long. But the question is, are you just COMFORTABLE with them being around because you both know each other like that, or are you still deeply in love with that person?

 Look at it from this perspective... You have a favorite DRINK! You know that you will have to pass 3 gas stations, maybe 2 or 3 stores before you actually find a place that sells the drink that you want. Well, while you are thinking about it, you are tired, may be lazy, and don't want to go through all the hassle of driving all that way to get your FAVORITE DRINK, so you SETTLE on a place that's close, that has just something good, and that you can drink on, because it's more CONVENIENT!

How many of us have had relationships like this? We want to wait on God, even willing to travel and make changes to be with the one that we know we truly love, but that's just TOO MUCH WORK!! Why go through all the work of trying someone new and giving love another chance when I have Pookie or Keisha here who at least gives me the sex that I want, gives me SOME of their time, and are usually there when I need them? YES, I know they don't work, can't keep a job, talk to other people, don't spoil me or care for me like I feel that I deserve being spoiled and care for, and really aren't the person that I want to be with deep down. But they DO take care of things for me when pretty much I need it. Then you are with a CONVENIENT PERSON! 

We all have been in that position of RIGHT NOW, this is good enough. But we all know the REAL TRUTH! They do not satisfy anything deep down on the inside of us. We feel emptier after they leave than we do before they even show up. The Sex is good, but it's something missing with every time you both get together and you know it! You call them over when you are bored, just to have some company around and it's cool, but something just doesn't feel right. And that is IF they come, because they are always turning you down for something it seems like every time you call or text them.  The Body is NICE, the Muscle and Tattoos are NICE, but you know it will never be a real future between you two! You call this person to join you in couple's parties or outings and they occasionally may take you on a date when they WANT SOME, but you know that you don't love them and they truly don't love you?

Are you in this or has this happened to you recently? What do you do? The first thing is, Mr. or Ms. Right can't find you while you are just hanging with Mr. or Ms. WRONG! Really, it's going to take some real determination to cut that relationship off and say, "I know this FEELS GREAT, but I just want MY PERSON!" You will have to wait a while to possible get the one you have waited for. It may be many single nights by yourself. It will take trying not to text or call that CONVENIENT person when you get lonely, but you can do it! They will even call or text you with an "I MISS YOU" or "When can we see each other?" The best advice for that, be nice if you do talk, don't get into a deep conversation, do EVER get in your car to go over there, and if you just don't want to deal with them, IGNORE & DELETE! Sometimes these people will try to put you on guilt trips when you start pulling away from them, acting like you are wrong for cutting them off or wanting to stay to yourself until love comes. At the end of the day, if you just know that's not the person you want to be with, it's best just to cut them off and keep it moving. Convenience is great! It's comfortable, it's safe at times, it satisfies all for the moment! You deserve someone who is going to love you for you! Who really and truly wants to be with you and work on love and not just be with you because it's convenient for you both! LOVE IS WORTH THE WAIT! READ...SHARE...LOVE! - PROFESSOR JT